Ever wondered if sex on the first date is too much too soon? Real gents tell us what they think about early nookie.
Most women will tell you that they’re scared of seeming ‘easy’ and of sending their new man running if they have sex with him on the first date.
But according to a recent survey, three-quarters of men and women say it’s fine to have sex on a first date. Is that true? Or is there still a double standard that says quick-shaggers are easy if they’re women, and studs if they’re men?

We asked men – single and attached, in their 20s and 30s – what they really thought about first-date sex. Here’s what they told us.

  • The double standard isn’t dead
    Paul, 35: ‘I’ve got a few stupid friends who think ‘ooh she’s a slag’ if she sleeps with him on the first night, which is very unfair. But that’s fine, because women don’t go out with men like that – so there’s more left for me! ’
    Dylan, 28: ‘If a girl sleeps with you on a first date, you assume she’d do it with anyone. Any honest man would say the same. ’
  • Men are also scared of looking ‘easy’
    Jamie, 25: ‘Girls have more respect for you if you wait before having sex. If I really fancy a girl, of course I want to do it on the first date, but I also want her to think I’m a keeper. So I usually wait until the third date or so. ’
    Dan, 29: ‘If I’ve had a date with a girl I really like, I don’t want her to think that I’m only after sex. ’
    Alfie, 20: ‘Personally, if I really like a girl, I’m always too nervous to do it on a first date. I think she’ll judge me badly. ’
  • If he dumps you after sex, he’d have dumped you anyway
    Paul, 35: ‘I’ve got four older sisters, and they all say that first-date sex drives men away. But it doesn’t work like that. The one time I did it on a first date and gave her the brush-off afterwards, it was because I fancied her enough to have sex but not enough to go out with her. ’
    Jamie, 25: ‘If I have sex with a girl I just met, and I don’t want to see her again, it’s not because we had sex. I wouldn’t have wanted to see her again anyway. ’
  • ‘Let’s just cuddle’ never means ‘let’s just cuddle’
    Chris, 33: ‘The number of times I’ve gone home with a woman and she’s said, ‘let’s just sleep like spoons’, haha! Next thing you know, they’re taking their knickers off. If you fancy each other enough to go home and snuggle up, you’re going to have sex with each other. Be honest. ’
  • First-date sex doesn’t mean no relationship
    Chris, 33: ‘Sex on a first date just means we fancied each other enough at the time. I might want a relationship and I might not – having sex doesn’t change my mind. If the sex is great, it might make me even more keen. ’
    Paul, 35: ‘My two longest relationships were with women I slept with on the first date. There’s no point in waiting just for the sake of it. ’
    Andre, 26: ‘Good relationships are based on being honest about your feelings, fancying each other and having great sex. So I think good sex on a first date is a sign of relationship potential. Making her wait as some kind of ‘test’ isn’t very nice. ’
    Dan, 29: ‘Sex is always more exciting when you do it in that first explosion of lust. Sex with someone you really love is great too, but it’s different. ’
  • If you’re incompatible in the sack, best find out quickly
    Andre, 26: ‘I would never commit to a relationship with a girl until I’d had sex with her. I don’t want to waste my time with someone who doesn’t do it for me in bed. You’ve got to know that there’s chemistry. ’
    Carl, 31: ‘Before sex, I never know whether I want a relationship or just sex. ’
  • Life is short – especially if you’re an older dater
    Mike, 36: ‘If you just had a great evening with a fantastic person and you feel like having sex, have sex. The older I get, the less I worry about what people think. ’
    Matt, 39: ‘Many moons ago I might have looked down on a woman for doing it, but I’ve grown up a bit since then. ’
  • However…waiting can be fun
    Harry, 22: ‘I have never had sex on a first date. The more you look forward to something, the better it is. ’
    David, 28: ‘Ten years ago I’d have said yes [have sex on a first date], but as I’ve got older I’ve realised it’s better to wait. I want to get to know someone a bit before doing it. Any average-looking person can get sex on a first date, there’s no emotional value to it. ’
  • If you’ve been friends, different rules apply
    Rob, 32: ‘I slept with my current girlfriend within three hours of meeting her at the station. We’d been flirting with each other online after meeting briefly two years before. We’d already had two years of long-distance foreplay, so I don’t think that counts as ‘first date sex’. ’
    Tim, 29: ‘The only time I had sex on a first date was with a girl I’d worked with for years. It was absolutely amazing. I never thought for a second that she was easy, because we knew each other so well. ’
  • If you’re gonna do it, do it right
    Rob, 32: ‘Then main problem with doing it so quickly is that there’s more chance of having really bad sex, because you don’t know each other well and you might be a bit drunk. Also if neither of you has any protection, it could get a bit awkward. ’
    Chris, 33: ‘First date sex isn’t wrong, but boozy one-night stands can be horrible. The moral of that is, don’t drink cocktails on a first date. ’