If you go by what we see in movies and hear in songs, it is pretty easy to quickly come to believe that you need to be in love in order to have a happy, fulfilling life. According to what we see and hear from the entertainment industry, the biggest challenge of our lives is figuring out how to find a girlfriend, attracting this person who is supposedly The One, and then managing to keep her around.Not every culture in the world is nearly as centered on romance as we are and love marriages are actually a rather new thing when looking at overall human history. Throughout history, men and women have been matched for marriage based on economic or political reasons, and marriage was seen as a practical undertaking, not at all like our current idea of it uniting two people in love to share eternity together. The function of marriage was to join resources, have someone to share basic survival tasks with and have children.
You, like a lot of guys, might think that your destiny is to meet your soul mate and start living happily ever after; however, this idea really just goes along with the beliefs we have been raised to believe and is an idea that we made up. It isn’t supported by statistics, facts or science. The whole concept that there is one particular woman – and only one – for every man kind of starts to fall apart when you consider how many divorces and second and third marriages there are in our society today.
Just like we have the ability to grow muscles or lose weight, we also have the ability to love several different people throughout our lives. It is all just a matter of whether we choose to take advantage of this ability or not. Just like the ability to grow muscles does not automatically mean that you will be ripped, just because you have the ability to fall in love with several women throughout your lifetime does not necessarily mean that you will.
However, as you contemplate how to find a girlfriend, consider this: The more you choose to pursue this ability to love more than one woman during your life, the easier it is going to be for you have happy, satisfying relationships with women. Someone who understands that there are plenty of potential partners out there is going to have a lot more success with women than the guy who continues to believe in The One.
Look at it this way: If you are at a party surrounded by attractive women, who would you approach? If you are a believer that is seeking out The One, then you will be seeking out the best possible match according to the checklist you have created in your head. You will be judging every woman in the room against this checklist and will likely have ranked them all before you ever get around to approaching anyone. But you need to know that women feel it when they are being evaluated and they do not like to be judged. If they pick up on your expectations on some subconscious level, they are going to immediately feel a bit tense and uncomfortable around you. That clearly isn’t going to be helpful when you are working on how to find a girlfriend.
When you approach a room full of women in this manner, you have done two things. First, you have probably made every woman feel like they are being evaluated. Secondly, you have made it way more likely that you will freeze up as you feel the pressure to be perfect when approaching the one you have determined to be closest to possibly being The One. Basically, you are putting everything in one basket, setting yourself up to be completely on edge trying not to blow it, and then feeling like a complete failure if they happen to reject you and you now think you’ve blown it with The One. All this pressure on you and on them is definitely not a comfortable way to go about how to find a girlfriend. If this is how you go about meeting women, you are really just setting yourself up for failure. If you go around with this idea of The One, you are going to feel like you might have just blown your one chance every time a girl rejects you.
Any guy would start feeling less-than-confident after a blow like that. And deciding that someone is your perfect partner before you even date them is a sure way to set yourself right up for failure. Part of how to find a girlfriend is being confident, which includes sexual confidence. It is very difficult to develop the confidence required if you get all caught up on marrying The One or scoring with 10s. Part of sexual confidence is understanding that there are lots of great relationship opportunities out there and that you will learn from and enjoy each of them, even if they don’t end up lasting forever. Now that we have talked about those guys who are constantly on the prowl for The One, let’s talk about the guys who recognize that there is more than one potentially fantastic partner out there for all of us.
When these guys look around a room, they are looking with the knowledge that any of the women in the room might end up being a great match. They know that there could be five or ten potential Miss Rights in there, or none at all, and they know that they might not necessarily recognize the one that would be best for them right from the start. They understand that the one they thought was the best choice might end being completely incompatible with them, while there might be another girl that they didn’t notice as much who could end up actually being a better match than they could have ever imagined. The reason for this is because neither partner has to be perfect to be able to create a perfect relationship. When you are determining how to find a girlfriend, this is a key point to keep in mind.
Sexually confident guys know that two seemingly perfect partners don’t always make a perfect relationship and that two imperfect partners can often be perfect together. This means that the first step in how to find a girlfriend is to give up the notion that there is one perfect woman out there, which will allow you to be less judgmental. This will result in women feeling more comfortable around you and enjoying your company more.